Really talk. Learn to look. Commit to seek mutual purpose: Agree to agree 2. 6. In high-risk discussions, stay focused on what you really want (your big-picture goal, such as a stronger relationship), so you donât get sidetracked by conversational games, such as trying to win, punish the other person, or keep the peace. Three Tips for Successful Crucial Conversations. In Crucial Conversations: Tools For Talking When The Stakes Are High, authors Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler argue that many problems are caused by how people behave when they disagree with others about high-stakes, emotional issues. Conversations revisited using the 4 Steps bring surprising results. A Crucial Conversation is: â¢ A discussion between two or more people where: 1. stakes are high 2. opinions vary, and 3. emotions run strong â¢ and the outcome greatly impacts their lives. Once everyone contributes his or her information to a crucial conversation, the final step is action. When you’re learning how to have a crucial conversation, these seven dialogue principles should be your guide. Every day we engage in numerous conversations, each which play important roles in shaping our expectations, relationships, and outcomes. Crucial Conversations Review Crucial Conversations is a must read for anyone serious about improving socially. Who does what, when, and how it will happen, followed by a checkup on how this process is When someone doesnât feel safe in saying something potentially controversial, either they donât trust in a mutual purpose (theyâre suspicious of ulterior motives), or someone has undermined mutual respect (for instance, by attacking another person, sighing, or eye-rolling). Make it Safe – When you notice that you and others have moved away from dialogue, do something to make it more comfortable. 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